Many of us develop old, habitual ways of thinking, feeling and reacting that aren’t always helpful to our sense of happiness and wellbeing. A mindful approach to counselling helps us step back and see the unhelpful patterns that keep us stuck rather than helping us moving forward. We can learn to step back from our thoughts and feelings and observe them objectively, without getting so caught up in them. Mindfulness helps us increase our awareness of what's going on in body and mind so that we have more choice and control over how we react to things. 

 

Mindful awareness has always been an important part of therapy because without being aware of what we're doing, it's very difficult to start making any changes. 

 

Mindful awareness simply means being able to focus on the present moment with nonjudgment. The more we can learn to control the focus of our attention, the more we can direct our attention to the present moment rather than get caught up in unhelpful thoughts about things that have already happened or haven’t happened yet.

 

The more we can throw ourselves into the present moment, the less room there is for negative thoughts or feelings to creep in and take over. This doesn’t mean that we should never think about things in the past or future, but that we do so in a constructive problem-solving way, rather than ruminating, worrying, over-planning, obsessing or procrastinating.

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I take a predominantly mindfulness-based approach which includes a range of therapies that have emerged and evolved from traditional Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. They include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy, Compassion Focused Therapy.

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Mindfulness-based therapies developed due to the perceived limitations of CBT, namely that we can’t always change our thoughts and beliefs as easily as we’d like and that feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, sadness or anger can gradually come back again over time. 

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Instead of focusing on trying to change our thoughts and beliefs as with traditional CBT, mindfulness-based therapies focus on trying to change the way we relate to our thoughts and feelings so that they don’t affect us as much or stop us doing what we want to do. They propose that the more attention we give our thoughts by fighting them, resisting them or controlling them, they more powerful they become. The less attention and meaning we give them, the more they dissipate – freeing us up to turn our attention to other things. Instead, they focus on developing acceptance skills, mindfulness skills, emotion regulation skills, distress tolerance skills, values-based living, effective action and psychological flexibility.​​

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Mindfulness-based therapy includes specific skills and techniques to help you:

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• Feel safer, calmer, more resilient, relaxed and content with your life

• Reduce the fight-flight-free response and activate the relaxation response

• Tolerate distress or overwhelm without engaging in self-defeating behaviours

• Do the things you want to do despite the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings

• Learn self-regulation, emotional regulation and self-soothing techniques

• Be able to control the focus of your attention

• Stay firmly anchored in the present moment when you need to be

• Accept yourself or your situation, rather than fighting it or resisting it

• Recognise that the more you fight and resist things, the more you suffer

• Accept yourself or your situation whilst also making the changes you’re able to make

• Recognise what’s inside your control and what’s outside your control

• Focus on the things you can change, rather than the things you can’t

• Respect and value your worth as a human being

• Know your values and what really matters to you

• Set goals and commit to acting in line with your values

• Take active steps to move in the direction you want to go

• Treat yourself with respect and self-compassion to support and motivate you, rather than self-criticism that activates the threat response and keeps you stuck

• “Get on your own side” to support and motivate yourself

• Appreciate the things you do have, rather than dwelling on the things you don’t have

• Be willing to do what’s most effective to meet your long-term goals

• Cultivate psychological flexibility that enables growth and change, rather than psychological rigidity that keeps you stuck​​

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If you're interested in how EMDR may be able to help you, please see EMDR Therapy

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If you'd like to look at my integrative approach to therapy, please see ​Integrative approach to counselling